The Bread of Life

“The disciples ask Him, like I do very often,  “give us this bread always.” Let me live in this circumstance where you were so present, so real to me.  What’s wrong with wanting this?

Nothing.  It’s not wrong to desire the goodness you have lived before, and to know that it is possible now. But for me, the real eye opener is where I am putting my focus. In short, what is the bread of life?  These relationships I have lived in the past, the ones I still desire now, are so very sweet, and so good.  But they are not the bread of life, any more than manna from Heaven is our salvation.  They are merely a vessel through which the bread of life touches us.  And He can touch us just as much in the absence of these vessels.  In the secret quiet solitude of the hidden life of motherhood.  In the Dark Night through which He calls us into more intimate union with Him.”

Read the rest at As The Family Goes.

Vigil, Darkness and Morning

And in that moment, so close to the culmination of this great feast, I could not help but feel gratitude for the gift of the darkness. 

Or perhaps not the darkness itself, but Christ’s presence in it. Touching every part of it, illuminating it, changing it. Not taking it away, but calling us to walk through it, and giving us what we need to do just that. 

Read the rest at As the Family Goes

The Better Part

One of my Lenten observances (a family observance actually) has been to fast from screens. I don’t spend a lot of time on screens during the day, but there are key moments where this has an impact on me – first thing in the morning when I’m having my breakfast, and when I’m waiting in line for the ferry (or in a parking lot). Another Lenten discipline I have taken on is to read and write a bit every day, so I thought, great! I’ll use these times to journal or read something meaningful, instead of wasting the time on mindless things like Facebook and entertainment news sites.

If Your Right Hand Causes You to Sin

Earlier this week, I did something really stupid. I have been living with a wound for my whole life, which is that I constantly feel jealous of what other people have, or on the outside. I am a meek, under-the-radar kind of person, and all the way through my childhood it has been true that I’ve always felt on the outside.

What Credit to You

Today’s Gospel reading struck straight to the heart for me. As I listened to the words of Jesus, “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,” initially I had my own preconceived notions of what that means. I don’t have a lot of enemies, truth be told. I am generally easy to get along with, and even when people don’t get along with me, I am either blissfully unaware or I like them in spite of it. My husband, who is one of the most accepting and non-judgmental people I have ever met, has a profound effect on me in this regard. So that even if I happen to encounter someone I have a real problem with, through his help I do not find it difficult to love in spite of the difficulty. Got this one Jesus, preaching to the choir.